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Yes's and No's (Part 2): Picking some yes's

 

By Chris McGahan

Welcome back and Happy Almost New Year! Last time I talked about letting go of the pile of NO we accumulate daily. So, now that you have shed that, how do you work those yeses?

That’s a great question, and I am so glad you asked it!

1. Know what you want.

It seems so obvious, and yet it can be a huge challenge to overcome. Not what you think you want, not what people in your life have TOLD you that you want, but what you, as an artist and a human being, actually, deeply, and MADLY want. In fact, this step is SO important that it was the last step in letting go of your noes too!

Don’t know what that is yet? Bookmark this page, spend some time working on it, and come back to me. I’ll wait. Promise.

(we offer a guided meditation if you need some assistance getting to the heart of it. You can purchase that here: )

Welcome back! Ready to move on? Good. So, now that you know what you want:

2. Be prepared to articulate it, without apologizing for it.

Knowing what you want is essential, but if you cannot make other people understand what that want is, succinctly and specifically, it will be hard for the people in your support system to assist you with getting it. Need an agent? You have to be able to describe the agent you want. Need a location for a shoot? You need to be able to describe the location you want. Need a vanity for your bedroom? You need to be able to describe the vanity you want!

The other half of this is making sure your articulation is not an apology. I hear so many actors, actors just like you, apologizing for what they want. “Excuse me, Mr. Casting Director, I would love to be in this show if you think I am the right fit, but I don’t want to take up your valuable time, so it’s okay, I will just see myself out- I was probably wrong for this show anyways.” Maybe you laughed at the absurdity of that sentence, or maybe you blushed a bit because that’s exactly how you sound when meeting industry-folk.

Either way, it’s something to watch out for. Apologizing for the things you want makes the world less interested in helping you get it. The apology takes away your power, it takes away your passion, and it makes you seem wishy-washy or desperate. None of which you want to be!

So, now that you know what you want, and you know how to TELL people what you want you,

3. Find your moment.

So, you’re in the meeting with the agent of your dreams, and you want to demand they represent you because you will blow their stable UP. And as the conversation continues, your nerves build and you worry more and more about how to ask them to represent you, until they are telling you a story about their assistant who just gave birth to triplets, and you blurt out “I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR CLIENT, HERE ARE ALL MY PERTINENTS.”

As the stunned silence lingers in the room, you realize you hadn’t found the moment to bring that up. Whoops.
So how do you find that moment?

Well, you need to do some prep work. The conversation will have to be crafted so that you are in control of it. Know what questions you want to ask to move the conversation towards your goal. Frame yourself as an expert in all things you, and as asset that cannot be lived without.

So, you know what you want, you have successfully articulated it, you have a crafted conversation that has led you right to the perfect moment, now:

4. ASK for what you want.

I know, I know! It seems fairly obvious… but is it? How many times in a day do you shy away from asking for what you want? When someone asks what you do, do you sheepishly reply that you are an actor? Or do you proudly tell them what you do and where you are going? Do you ask for that person’s number in a bar? Ask for advice from people you respect and admire? Do you ask your friends and loved one for support, or a helping hand?

This is both the hardest and easiest step- asking for what you want comes naturally to people, and has since we were babies and were hungry. However, over the years we build up resistances to “want.” Asking for what we want becomes scary or hard or we start to view it as a thing that is inherently smarmy or pushy people do.

It doesn’t have to be though! Give yourself permission to let that belief go- you are worthy of having what you want, and can ask for whatever it is without it being “that actor” you always judge so harshly.

So breathe, believe, anticipate and ask. Its half the Konami Code, and you have this covered! Pick your yeses for 2015 and start this new year as YOU desire.

 

Lost sight of your Passion or Big Picture? I totally get it, and I can help. Sign up HERE for a free 20 minute coaching consultation and we’ll hash out next steps to get you motivated, get you control, and accelerated toward the career you want.

 

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