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On Regret, Missed Opportunity + Blooming into a Better You in 2016.

By Christina Shipp 

Here I was yesterday, kicking myself in the foot for missing a Vitacost promotion’s end of year special. I wish you could've heard me, cursing at myself because ‘yet again’ I committed another act of negligence not paying enough attention. Dammit. O! The terrible things I told myself!

I had a huge order queuing up, and was waiting exactly for an opportunity like this to buy. And here it was: an end of the year sale. And I missed the boat. I dropped the ball. And I was Mad. As. Hell. And Lawd did I give myself hell about it! The names I called myself. The horrible features of my personality I highlighted which made this all possible. The ‘how silly, how stupid, how could you let this happen’-- all this self-shaming over something as silly as missing a Vitacost promotion.

Then, the wormhole: I got to thinking deeper what other mistakes I make because I don't pay attention or take action when necessary. What other opportunities I’m missing, how much money I’m losing, how much time I’m wasting because of either not paying attention or from not taking action. It turned me cold and I got dark real fast, especially at this time of year with its bright promises of brand new yous.

I’ll say this: thank heavens for my clients. In this moment of shame-spiraling downward into ‘How could I’s’ and ‘Why am I so stupid’, one of the clients I had recently seen popped into my head. Not a week before, I talked her off the ledge while she was beating herself up for not being good enough, not doing well enough in 2015, and for living in fear and shame. I remembered what I told her, and thankfully, it rang so true in that moment I was able to stop railing myself for missing out, and capitulate into action. I chose in that moment to treat myself with as much compassion as I show my clients. And I kicked my ass to do something other than wallow in negativity. And don’t you know, as soon as I made that decision I sleuthed out a promo-code that saved me just as much as that end of year offer.

It’s a human condition to get so stuck focusing on all the things you didn’t do right, or perfect, you fail to see what’s directly in front of you, existing solely to help. Can you relate? Because if you’re ready to bloom into better in 2016, let’s take stock of where you are, and give some clarity to your year ahead.

First, bring awareness to one area of focus that you can strategically attack now. Start with one, not twenty. If you have open-ended projects it’s because you haven’t prioritized your goals/values, and now is the perfect time to start.

Your credo is this: What can I do right now? Sometimes the projects you’d like to do go untouched for so long they become a looming obstacle in the distance and the perception around how long it will take or how difficult will be magnifies in your mind 100%.

Just remember—your passion overrides your fear. Decide on a small action to take right now to jump-start projects that have fallen by the wayside. So for you: what is something you know gives you blazes and how can you put a fan on that flame? Stoke the embers and reignite any small passion that moves you to get started on projects delayed in 2015. The trick is to get the ignition started and any small spark can do that. Your credo: what heats me up right now? What really gets me cooking? How can you do more of it?

2016. It's here now. Whatever projects you didn't complete in 2015, whatever mistakes you feel you've made, whatever opportunities you feel like you've missed…now is the time to let it all go. You have the opportunity to start fresh as soon as you decide take it. The power of choice is your divine right, my dove. So what will you choose to focus on now?

Is it picking up the phone to reconnect with a director you’ve worked with? Sitting down to craft a response to the question ‘Tell me about yourself’? Going over the special skills on your resume with a fine-toothed comb and asking how can you be more specific? Or is it simply being quiet and slowing down, reflecting on what you'd like the year ahead to bring?

This is a busy season in the biz, and you'll be reactive if you don't give yourself some strategy and milestones to measure your progress and pick you up when you hit any speed-bumps in the road.

And most importantly, when you feel you've missed opportunities and have regrets for actions you've taken (or actions that you haven't taken), remember to be kind. 2016 is your year to bloom. What have you already seeded from the years before? Be grateful for them. Now let those seeds take root, and bloom. Bloom into greatness, bloom with more patience, more love, more self-acceptance, and treat yourself well, and kindly. It must be easier for you to rattle off your strengths than your weaknesses, and if the opposite is true for you right now then do one thing right now to remind yourself just how amazing you truly are. Take control in the new year. Become a master at talking yourself off a ledge and celebrating your strengths and successes. It's time for you to bloom. Your success is here, now. Take it.  

Let me help you achieve your success. Schedule a free 20 minute session with me.

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